缅北强奸
Also on this page: A Strong Desire | Requiem for the Polar Regions | No Word in English | Silent Spring
Lou Sheppard, AiR 2018-2019
Lou Sheppard, AiR 2018-2019
Lou Sheppard is a Canadian artist working in interdisciplinary audio, performance and installation based practice. Of Irish, English and Scottish settler ancestry, Sheppard was raised on unceded Mi'Kmaq territory, and currently lives in K'jiputuk/Halifax. Sheppard graduated from the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design in 2006 and then studied English and Education at Mount Saint Vincent University. In their recent practice Sheppard uses processes of translation and metaphor to interrogate structures of power in data and language. Their work is evidenced through installation, performance and score and often leads them to collaborate with other artists, including musicians, visual artists and performing artists. Sheppard has exhibited work both in Canada and internationally, and was included in the first Antarctic Biennale and the Antarctic Pavilion in Venice. In 2017 they received the Emerging Atlantic Artist Award and in 2018 they were long-listed for the Sobey Art Award. Sheppard is currently Artist in Residence in the Faculty of Education at 缅北强奸.
While at 缅北强奸 Sheppard is initiating a series of participatory projects including No Word in English and Silent Spring: Tiotia:ke/Montreal. They are also developing a performance installation for the Redpath Museum titled Natural History, and other projects activating sites on 缅北强奸 Campus. Sheppard is working in collaboration with members of the Faculty of Education and Redpath Museum to develop the Redpath Museum Redpath/STEAM education initiative, a workshop series promoting art in science and technology for youth, led by preservice teachers from the Faculty of Education.
A Strong Desire - Installation by Lou Sheppard
"On Translating the Untranslatable" Article by Arielle Twist
What happens when we try to translate something that is听untranslatable, a word for which there is no equivalent in a colonial tongue? Is the gap in the precarious, nebulous space of translation, where the meaning of an original language is lost?听Lou Sheppard taught me that this space is called a lacuna, 鈥渁 place where the assumptive linear is loosened, a place of slippage.鈥� In their installation and performance at the Khyber Centre for the Arts, they propose the question, 鈥淚s it possible that the lacuna could be read as queer space?鈥澨�
When we think of our own queerness we often don鈥檛 have the words to describe the ambiguity of our attractions鈥攖he ways we feel connected to our bodies or the ways by which we connect and care for other bodies. Sheppard describes queerness as an 鈥渦n-chartable place in our language and in our identities,鈥� and they explore the possibilities that resonate when queerness bridges these gaps.
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Leelee Davis performs in Lou Sheppard's installation. Photo: Alex van Helvoort
The phrase 鈥渁 strong desire鈥� comes from听the criteria for gender dysphoria in the听Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders听(DSM-5), which are still used to 鈥渄iagnose鈥� transgender individuals so they can access hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and gender reassignment surgeries (GRS) in Canada. Most folks within the transgender community reject the notion that our identities still exist as diagnoses. Our bodily autonomy is disrupted by the ubiquity of Western medicine, and in order to exist and live we have to somehow bypass this gatekeeping.听
Sheppard does the work of teasing apart these diagnostic criteria and translating the spaces between each word into labanotation, a notation system used to analyze and record human movement. For the exhibition, Sheppard covered the white walls of the Khyber with angled shapes along one side and words across another. Some of these shapes were shaded, others were hollow or filled in with black paint. They bore a sharpness that commanded attention鈥攖he edges were angled with a painstaking precision that filled the room with a dense feeling of control. These shapes became the labanotation.
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听Read more from "On Translating the Untranslatable"
, a Canadian-born genderqueer performance artist, took the directions of the labanotation and translated them into movements. Video documentation of their performance was projected on the walls of the Khyber throughout the exhibition鈥檚 duration.听I had the immense pleasure of witnessing the first performance that was birthed from the trauma of translation: the movement of trans bodies battling a language that we have not chosen, then finding space in the gaps to exist. I watched in awe as Davis moved between breaths, pointing their limbs and moving about the room. I watched mesmerized as their long dark hair swept across the black floor and their shadow on the white walls behind them echoed their precise movements. The dance was meticulous, an actualized form of the words written on the walls above, spelling out the specific movements that Davis and Sheppard mapped out verbatim. I watched as they took the firmness of lines and the sharpness of edges to create something soft, yet striking. I recognized the movement of my own body in the dance that they created together, how our experiences as trans people are so unique but entangled. The shadows repeat our steps鈥攖he ghosts are still there. Still, we exist.听
Sheppard asked me to write a poem,听reproduced here, to accompany their project. They wanted me to write within the gaps鈥攖he translation of queerness鈥攖o show the ways I am reflected within the framework that they cultivated. I reflected on the reality of being an Indigenous trans person in Canada, about the reality of a healthcare system that is unforgiving to Indigenous peoples and about the reality of a lost possibility, as a trans femme. My poem is titled 鈥湵醪醢旆擅蟀烀⒉�,鈥� which in English translates to 鈥渙ne who lives/acts like a woman.鈥� It is a perfect example of a lacuna that exists in Canada: the lexical gap between Indigenous and settler languages is still pervasive today, and Two-Spirit people like me are trying to find words that describe our actuality.
We have a strong desire for normality, for a life full of potential that would be promised with the same certainty as our pain, potential of a life forgiving this body we hated for so long, though her love is endless.
I know that a conceptualization of queerness existed within an Indigenous worldview that colonizers didn鈥檛 want to survive. I want to reflect, in my writing, upon how the variety of words in nehiyawewin (Cree language) used to describe gender and their translations to English are rooted in a colonial way of thinking鈥攁 way of thinking rooted in white supremacy and a cis-heteronormative framework of gender binaries.
Sheppard and Davis鈥檚 collaboration is ingrained in a way of thinking about the complexities and complications of language, time and trans narratives. If we can recreate a narrative that coexists with our bodily autonomy, then we can disrupt sterilization and medicalization by existing alongside each other.
Now when I think of Lou Sheppard鈥檚 鈥淎 Strong Desire,鈥� I can鈥檛 help but think about companionship and kinship in an othering world. I found this in the space, with them:
滨蝉办飞锚丑办芒苍
I am lost in transition,鈥�
I mean, I am lost鈥� 鈥�
but I don鈥檛 know鈥�
the translation.
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Western culture would say I am a man, with a strong desire to be a woman. They even translated my mother-tongue to say that I am one who lives/acts like a woman, but this is also an imperfect translation or definition of my being.
I would say, in Nehiyawewin, that I am 滨蝉办飞锚丑办芒苍.
I would ignore the gaps that live between my tongue and my teachings. Feel the vowels reverberate in my throat and know this is more than my colonizers would ever let me say. My ancestors would not call this a desire but a destiny 鈥� that I exist in a multitude of possibilities.
I can exist.
I am finding my way鈥�
ebbing along a river,鈥�
along the same curves 鈥�
of my newly formed hips
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滨蝉办飞锚丑办芒苍, one living as divine sweetness.
We have a strong desire for normality, a life full of potential that would be promised with the same certainty as our pain, potential of a life forgiving this body we hated for so long, though her love is endless. Remember to drape her in gold鈥攌iss her wrists for being imperfect as she dances along a path not chosen, a path which determines what happens with our body. A dance where doctors lead, where the diagnosis is a song sung through her crushed esophagus, can they hear us wheeze between beats? Can they see her twist our limbs, point these appendages towards the sun as they spin us into something softer? I鈥檒l arch my back, I鈥檒l fold, to be anything softer.
She will always be a ghost.
the light is playing tricks鈥�
on shadows alongside me.鈥�
They keep asking鈥撯��
what is this thing that I am?
iii.
I can feel the condensation on the concrete,
And I want to break,听
I want nothing more.
A femme once told me that all trans women are ghosts. I understand what she meant now. I feel myself mirroring my shadow. I feel myself being transparent 鈥� an apparition of my own possibility. I exist but I am the shadow of what was once attainable.
I will birth a new possibility.
I will carry this possibility, gestate for nine months letting it kick at the space where my vagina will become. I will sing it songs of a love that is forgiving, a love that is safe through my healing throat 鈥� I will know this love exists. I will teach it how poetry is a movement of reclamation through words, how it flows in the blood of my ancestors not spilt鈥擨鈥檒l pass it on. I will dance with it in my body, a dance between me and my shadow, both of us becoming our own.
I will reclaim my words, the translations of my own transition.
I will reclaim my body, the way it moves alongside light.
I will reclaim my possibility, I am the condensation, breath against stone.
滨蝉办飞锚丑办芒苍, we are one who lives like the land.
Requiem for the Polar Regions
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The Requiem is an aural record of the shifting masses of sea ice in the Arctic and Antarctic oceans, both the annual melt and reformation of ice, and the long term decline of ice in the Arctic. Using the data provided by the听National Snow and Ice Data Centre听in Colorado this automated program generates a musical score based on the perimeter and concentration of sea ice in the Arctic and Antarctic. The program maps the coordinates of the ice imagery to a musical scale, generating a distinct composition each day. Ice which reaches further from the poles sounds as lower notes, while ice that sits closer to the pole sounds as higher notes. The score is composed in D Minor.
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No Word in English
Inspired by the multitude of languages spoken by members of the 缅北强奸 community No Word in English seeks words that have no English equivalent. These words, and their attempted translation are gathered from participants in the project and then printed on posters and placed around the campus. Recognizing that each language is rooted in a distinct ontological system No Word in English is a means of considering how we can and can not translate aspects of our identities and ways of knowing into institutional structures.
If you have a word that you would like to contribute to the project please contact Lou at louisrsheppard [at] gmail.com
Silent Spring: Tiotia:ke/Montreal
Silent Spring is a musical composition based on the songs of ten birds whose听populations are declining in the Montreal area. The composition is created by tracing spectrograms of each bird鈥檚 call onto a music staff, and then played as music notation. The arrhythmic and discordant notes that result from this translation process become a musical meditation on what is missing from Montreal鈥檚 sonic landscape. The composition will be performed by members of the school community, recorded and then installed, with a mural of the graphic score for the piece, in the Faculty of Education building.
If you play music and would like to participate in this experimental process please get in touch with Lou at louisrsheppard [at] gmail.com